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Hey reader
When I write a useletter I start by contemplating what I've been curious about, noticed or struggled with myself over the previous fortnight. This week, as I meditated on what that might be, as I slurped up caviar, guzzled French champers and bathed in the cool clear waters of the Caribbean where my superyacht is moored...
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Ooops! I've got myself mixed up with someone else!
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Let's try that again. This week as I gazed out my kitchen window, at brick walls and greenery, from my standing desk on my dining room table, my thoughts turned to my most recent blog post about empathy.
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Every time I write or present on empathy, I'm forced to face a question I should always be asking. A question I want to ignore about people I disagree with.
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The thing is, I know it's an important question and deserving of my considered attention. I just don't want to acknowledge that there's something a Russian oligarch might be right about. Or a tedious Twitter follower refuting my tweets and refusing to consider they might be wrong. Who really wants to acknowledge how these people might be right, even in some small way?
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But that's where empathy begins. With understanding why someone else might be right, or if we insist they're not, then considering why they think they're right.
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how might they be right?
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"Argue like you're right, listen like you're wrong" - Adam Grant
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The follow through on this insight is a real bugger. It takes practice.
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Most people think they're right. Except perhaps scientists. They're as equally delighted to be wrong as right. They know if they're wrong they've learnt something new and a little closer to being right. But, unless you listen, you cannot possibly know either way. If you're arguing, it's likely you're not listening.
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It’s a question of empathy. Are we empathetic enough to listen rather than argue? Taking the time to understand someone’s world view, even when it doesn’t correspond with our own. Doing so will help move us to rethink what is right. It's a good thing.
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It means asking questions. Trying to understand someone else's position. Dare I say it, trying to understand how they might be right. If you can recognise something you need to reconsider. That you hadn't contemplated might be right and you're now rethinking. That's valuable.
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Let's chat
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At unmeasured I take the argh out of architectural practice.
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Helping architects rethink and find joy in their practice.
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I'd love to hear your story. Book a free 30 minute chat now.
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What else is going on at unmeasured?
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I send news and updates out separately in my occasional Updates & Events email. Click the button below to go to the sign up page and have your details added to that email list too.
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recent useful blog posts...
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Ways to reframe your thinking and bring more empathy to your architectural practice.
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Having enough time is one of the greatest challenges facing architects in practice. Time is valuable, here’s how to eke out more.
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Instead of competing for work, what might architects consider doing to generate more work for their practice and the profession?
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“Good fiction creates empathy. A novel takes you somewhere and asks you to look through the eyes of another person, to live another life.” - Barbara Kingsolver
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