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I pay my respects and acknowledge all Traditional Custodians of Country and on whose land I live and work. I recognise their continuing connection to land, waters and culture. I pay my respects to their Elders past and present.
Always was, always will be.

Welcome to this week's useletter

focussing on your future not my past, the newsletter that's useful.

A good friend of mine, I’ll call her Natalie, recently went on a rant about self-help.

Natalie’s not a fan of self-help.

She’d latched onto something Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck, had said. He’s dismissive of those that seek out self-help gurus and their writing, noting the people needing that sort of help were too overly suggestible (my words). Which is ironic given he’s also in that space.

And, for the most part, I don’t agree.

Yes there’s charlatans praying on the gullible.

And in those cases it’s highly likely it’s not really "help".

But if we want to get better, and be better humans. We invariably need help. Now that might be by doing a course, getting coaching or a mentor, or helping ourselves using available resources.

Natalie and I both agree thinking critically, in general, and about the way you focus on becoming better is key in all of this. Along with finding your own way to do it.

Do you know the habits that help you to better? Why not read all about the ten habits of successful people? But there’s a couple of catches. You’ll not hear about the successful people that do things differently, their own unique way. You won’t hear about the myriad of people that have tried adopting the habits of the successful without finding their own success. Success is not guaranteed. It might fail.

Think critically and find your own way.

Focussing on other’s success, is not always helpful.

PSA: It’s OK to fail. When you fail you’ve identified what doesn’t work and that’s useful.

This fortnight’s Useletter may be a self-help failure. I’m still giving it a crack! It’s meta.

I got you

Michael

PS: fun fact and in the spirit of self help, this week’s Useletter is a note to myself! Many of the Useletters are for me. I’ll often teach the things I most need to hear. And I trust you’ll get something from it too.

PPS: please tell me what I might have wrong. I delight in learning from failure!

Don’t focus on failing, focus on failures

We’re not trying to fail. But we're failing when we fail to try.

We often fail to try when we our focus is on the outcome rather than trying.

This mindset can inhibit us when thinking about making a request of someone, for example. Concerned they’ll say no, we fail to ask. By asking we risk a no, but by failing to ask we guarantee there’ll be no yes.

So. Ask. And follow any no with a new, more informed, ask. Not in a creepy stalkery way but in the spirit of “What would it take to turn that no into a yes?” That might be a rhetorical question, or one directed at the person you asked.

What is intended by a focus on failures is the critical consideration of failure, yours or others. What can be learnt from them? What might you change? This is how to help yourself and your team in the future - you might know, you can’t change the past.

Chasing success isn’t always helpful. Chasing learning, knowledge and insight always is. And every action brings you closer to success.

“If failure is not an option, then neither is success.” - Seth Godin

Failing in leadership and culture

When failure is an option it establishes an environment where no-one is punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes. It’s an environment that’s psychologically safe.

A safe space, and a courageous one, requires leaders to lead by example. Acknowledging their failures so that their team might do so without shame or blame. It’s when failure can be seen as a success of sorts. Building an environment in which trust and teamwork develop. It’s a space in which the team can learn, grow and where everyone learns how to be better. Success is birthed from failure in this environment.

Are you failing enough?

If you're not failing you’re probably not extending yourself or your practice. Finding ways to try new things. To learn from the experience of failures. To push and get better at all you do.

What are you going to try and fail at this week?

You got this.

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